Lost In You
by vividnightm3re
Summary: Convinced that the First Order and Kylo Ren was indeed destroyed, Rey discovers that /that/ is indeed not the case.
1. Chapter 1

It had now been almost a year since she had last seen Kylo Ren. It wasn't a nice memory, everytime she looked back at the time, all she could manage to see was him killing his father- who was like a father to her, and she hated him for it. Rey truly believed deep down to her core that Kylo Ren didn't deserve anything that life had to offer. Although, he did seem to have mercy, or some light left within that only specific people knew how to trigger. She was convinced that he was dead, he had to be. There was no possible way that he could be alive.

Rey had watched it all burn away, the last time she'd been on Starkiller, and the last time that she'd seen him. Deep down, it pained her to know that he was gone forever. Rey had wanted to continue trying to do what Han would've wanted most- bringing his own son back to the light. Although Rey may hate him, or just highly dislike him, it didn't stop her from wanting to help him even still.

Rey was even attracted to him, in more ways than one.

Anyhow, even if she was - it was forbidden. It was just another day, and she was relaxing in the nearby grass with BB-8, when she watched Finn and Poe run by. Finn and Rey, they were getting along more and more as each day passed, and she used to hold a big grudge against him for dragging her into the whole mess, but in the end if it wasn't for Finn, she would've never really found out who she truly was.

Rey would've never been aware of the power that she held, she wouldn't have known this part of her own self.

All thought soon went out the window as she jumped suddenly, able to hear something landing not too far away, just over the hill. No one thought anything of it, until everyone heard people's screams, and the sounds of shots being fired.

There was no mistaking the sound of TIE-fighters as they flew through the skies above. It certainly was a very random attack, which is what made it all the more scary. Yet, of course they'd decided to attack when the Resistance was at it's most vulnerable state, completely unaware and not prepared even in the slightest.

Rey's heart pounded against the confines of her chest as she stared up at the sky, horror struck her features as they began their attack and fired at the innocent people and began to destroy the land.

Rey stood, and she instantly began to run towards all of the noise. Only when a hand grasped her arm did she even bother to halt, as she came face to face with Finn.

Sometimes she believed he was too protective, for his own good. It managed to annoy her at the best and worst of times, just how protective he was of her. Although she appreciated it, she knew she could handle herself and didn't want others to worry for her sake.

"You need to let them handle the situation, you'll get hurt!" He pleaded. Rey was completely aware as always, of the risks she'd be taking if she jumped into the middle of battle at any time. Finn was especially aware of how stubborn she could be, and she knew it must get frustrating - and hoped that one day they'd understand. Why must people always try and stand in her way?

"Let go of me," Rey bit out at him - a demand, and after a few hesitant moments he complied. She wasted no time in grabbing a weapon from nearby, and she clutched it tightly to her small frame.

Even as she tried to keep calm herself, the fear was evident as her eyes widened as people collapsed around them. Her eyes widened, as her startled gaze surveyed the chaos that unfolded right before her. Yet what unfolded in front of her, left her confused as ever. Stormtroopers? TIE-fighters?

"I thought we destroyed all of them," Rey's voice trailed off. It was as if time slowed and everything stood still, and she couldn't move her feet. Almost as if she were stuck in place, as if she couldn't breathe.

There _he_ was. _Ben_ , better known as _Kylo Ren_.

There was no mistaking his presence, as he stood before her dressed in the same thing, his usual black attire. As he stood there just across the land, it was as if nothing about him had changed. Kylo's mask was still the same as it had been before, and she didn't know if she should be running away from this now- or towards it.

How was this even possible? Rey had been so sure that he was dead, the planet having split between the pair after she'd given him ugly scars. Rey had managed to make a safe and quick escape, but she didn't see how he'd managed to survive, given the fact that Starkiller had blown to bits just after they'd managed to escape. It was as if Kylo must've been away all this time, rebuilding everything that they had destroyed- that she had destroyed.

Rey ignored him and ran into it, shooting at what appeared to be their new and improved Stormtroopers. As she hid behind the nearest object, waiting for the right moment to attack. It was her best bet, after all.

Ren wasn't a fool, Rey was the first person he'd noticed as the attack broke out around him. It was who he'd come for, after all. Months, months he'd spent with Snoke and Hux, working on strengthening himself and gaining better control over the power that burned deep within him.

It had all been blown out of proportion when the girl had stepped foot into his world. It disgusted him, how she made him feel.

Ren was Ren, he wasn't supposed to _feel_. His tall figure stormed in her direction, searching for her through the force. It was when he grabbed her, that he stared at her from behind the helmet. Silent as the shock crossed her features, he hadn't even used the force on her this go-round. Rey was frozen in place by the sight of him, and he found himself wondering why.

Perhaps she felt the conflict that he did, when it came to her?

Rey had not been able to attack at all, as a hand grasped her upper arm and hauled her to her feet and out from behind the crates she'd taken cover behind. A yelp escaped her lips, given whomever it was, wasn't all that gentle with her. It was when her gaze focused on whom it had been, that she found herself frozen where she stood. Kylo Ren.

Rey's brown hues looked up at the familiar mask in shock, attempting to gather her thoughts and comprehend whatever it was that was unfolding around them.

Perhaps he wanted vengeance? Or just maybe, he wasn't quite finished with her yet. Either way, it wasn't something that she wanted to face. He wasn't something that she wanted to face. Any emotion that she felt around him or because of him, left her feeling rather conflicted.

As much as she despised him, something drew her to him. It often made her ill, it often left her feeling guilty and lost in a sea of emotion.

The longest of moments passed as the pair stood there looking at one another, Kylo hidden behind his helmet as he studied her. It had been too long, and it was quite refreshing to see her face yet again. Obviously, they'd had a connection since the first time they'd ever met one another. Even if he'd taken her captive and tortured her mind, she should hate him.

The problem was the fact that she didn't, _she didn't hate him one bit_.

"How are you even here?" Rey finally managed to speak, it had seemed as if she'd lost her tongue for a bit there. Her eyes had zoned and it was as if she'd been lost as she stared up at his tall figure practically gawking - definitely taken by surprise at the mere sight of him.

It was obvious that Rey had expected him dead, and it pained him slightly that she'd considered him so.

Ren shoved the conflicting emotions aside, and held onto the anger and hatred that brewed within. It was the only way he could maintain his temper, the only way it'd be known just to him.

"Because I am, because I survived the destruction of everything I'd managed to create," He spoke, his words were empty as the helmet masked his true voice, "I guess you could say I didn't take kindly to it." Kylo took the time to briefly scan the area as he watched his men tear the place apart, no emotion flowed from him whatsoever.

At least not yet, it was quite frustrating to be around the scavenger girl. Little did she know, her light - it teased and taunted him. It was rather intriguing, the hold she had over him - it was the only reason she wasn't dead yet.

"What is it that you want? Leave these innocent people alone, go away." Rey spat the words at him, sure that the fire was showing in her eyes by now. An amused look crossed his features, not the she, or anyone for that matter, could see. It was quite adorable that the scavenger girl felt as if she had some sort of control over him, as if she could change the choices that he'd decided to make.

Rey soon became frightened and found that he truly was holding her in place just with the force, and realized that no matter how hard she struggled, her efforts were futile. Ren was pleased to say the least, to see that even after everything - he still managed to best her.

Even still, somehow, he was stronger than her. It was obvious that she seemed to be struggling hard as he felt the force probe at the hold he had on her, yet she just couldn't seem to break through his hold over her.

It was like slow motion. Everyone around the pair were fighting, killing each other. As much as it pleased Ren to have his revenge, he could care less about the madness unfolding around them. It was none of his concern in that moment as his eyes remained focused on the girl from behind his helmet.

Ren watched the way her jaw clenched and unclenched with her frustration, with how hard she attempted to concentrate. It was quite adorable, to him.

Rey's jaw tightened as he used more force. It was torture, and it was obvious that he had gotten stronger while he had been away. Rey wasn't sure that there was anything she could do now to fight back. It infuriated her that he overpowered her and obviously took great pleasure in the hell that had broken loose around them.

"It's a shame, isn't it? You're weak, weaker than me," Kylo spoke from behind his helmet, a shameless smirk crossing his lips - not that she'd be able to see. Pride, power, it all flowed through him in strong waves. The last time they'd faced one another, she'd bested him - which made the fact that he currently had more power over her, quite refreshing.

Rey's eyes gazed to the side of them in something similar to horror, and his eyes followed. It appeared as if Stormtroopers captured Finn, Poe, Princess Leia- who Rey had begun to see as a mother. It was hard to grow up on a desert planet with no family, the fact that she'd been lucky enough to meet Leia and Han - the two that'd given her more hope just as her friends had.

Yet here he was, destroying everything and taking everything that he wanted. Kylo felt nothing, no remorse or regret for the things that he'd done. Yet at the sight of her unraveling before him as she took in the sight of her most favorite people being captured and tortured - something scratched at him from deep within.  
Emotion.

Again, the girl was making him feel - feel sorry for her and her most favorite people.

Rey screamed as she fought harder now, teeth bared and sweat coating her beautifully tanned skin, and all Ren did was laugh. It made her blood boil, it made her want to face him and end this for once and for all. Yet she couldn't break free from his hold and it was infuriating. How could someone be so evil? She was sure that she would never understand.

Tears welled in her eyes, angry tears, and they fell freely down her cheeks. It made Kylo's chest ache, which confused him, so sure that he was empty and emotionless. Yet again, the girl held some sort of power over him and how he handled things.

Normally merciless, Kylo had mercy for her - always for Rey. Not that she'd ever know, and if she did, he knew he'd be screwed. Letting her in would mean risking it all, and losing everything he'd built and worked for. All due to the girl. His strength faltered, at the worst of times nonetheless.

Rey had caught him completely off-guard and raised her weapon to attack when she heard Finn yell, and she looked over to see them capturing him as he collapsed weakly to the ground in defeat. Rey's heart sunk as they began to take away the ones that meant most to her.

Kylo was very aware, and he had intentions of using these people against her - to gain proper cooperation from her end. It was not the people he cared for, not even his mother or her friends that consisted of murderers, traitors, and theives - it was her.

"Finn - Poe," Rey shouted, feeling weak and little before him. It was obvious that he had the upper-hand, that her efforts were nothing when it came to his strength. Kylo was rather pleased with himself, seeing that the long period he'd spent hidden, training, had indeed worked and improved his skills in each and every aspect.

"Give up, Rey." Kylo urged, wanting her to give up and succumb to the darkness. It would be a pleasure for him to train her, for her to help rule. Although it wasn't something she wanted, or so it seemed, he was so sure that he could easily convince her otherwise.

The determination was strong with him, wanting - needing her to give in to him, to the darkness. Rey felt hopeless, she felt more trapped than ever. For once, unable to save her friends, unable to help in general. No amount of training could've helped her prepare for this, they'd all been sure that they'd minimized the threat - that the First Order had been destroyed.

"Let them go," Rey shakily demanded as she stared up at the unmoving, emotionless helmet stared back at her. The curiosity clawed at her, wondering if he felt at all. Was it truly possible for someone to be so heartless, so lost to the darkness?

Kylo nearly laughed in mere amusement, at how she can be completely overpowered yet still try to push to attempt gaining the upper hand. Back on Starkiller, she may have got him then, but now was the time to have his revenge.

It was something he was set on, completely headstrong about - nothing, _no one_ , would stand in his way.

"I hardly believe you are in a position to be making demands," He observed as her features twisted from fear to anger, watching her struggle against his hold, "Especially now, scavenger." The fact that he still had the audacity to call her such, made her skin crawl as the irritation burned within her.

A fire grew in her hues, and she glared at him, "Release them, they've done nothing."

Ren's towering frame obviously grew tense at her horrible choice of words, and the force gathered around him as his temper flared, "They've done nothing? That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard," Kylo scoffed.

The girl couldn't be serious, could she? It had to be some sort of joke, at least he hoped she'd been joking.

"I'd think you were completely oblivious to the fact that the Resistance is the cause of the destruction of the Order," Ren stepped closer to her, and if she were able, she'd take many steps in the opposite direction - yet she found that she had no choice but to continue glaring into the helmet. "But you and I both know, that you were there."

It was as if time had came to a halt, as if the things going on around them weren't currently occurring. The firing of weapons and more TIE-fighters flooding the area pulled her back to herself, this needed to end.

"Take me, release them, and make this stop," Rey pleaded finally, defeated. Kylo's brows raised in surprise, not that she could see. It had never crossed his mind that her surrender would come so easily, so it definitely took him by surprise. It wasn't something he could argue with, it pleased him.

After a few brief moments passed, Kylo voiced his demand.

"Pull the division out, release the ones you've taken captive - I have what we need," More like what _he_ needs. Blackness swallows Rey at the wave of his hand, and he's quick to catch her in his arms.

As his towering form stormed towards his ship, he couldn't help but feel extremely pleased with himself. So easily, he'd managed to capture the girl. This time, he had no intentions of losing her or letting her go - this time he'd take plenty of necessary pre-caution.

It was only the beginning.


	2. Chapter 2

Rey woke with a start.

She found herself laying in the middle of a very large bed. Abruptly, she sat up and looked around herself, the room was huge. The whole right wall of the room wasn't even what you would consider a wall, it was practically one whole window. A window in which she found herself curiously wandering over to.

Rey found that she indeed was up very high, and she couldn't exactly identify her exact location whatsoever.

In her head, questions swarmed and her heart, it raced. All she wanted was answers, and she had intentions of getting them, all in due time of course. For the time being though, her eyes took in the scenery that caught her gaze as she stood as the insanely large glass.

Rey's wide hues watched as Stormtroopers made their way around the area outside, her eyes were positively hooked as she continued looking down at all of the commotion.

That was when her eyes had spotted Ren, considering you could easily point him out in a crowd. All due to his towering, intimidating form, and his black attire followed by the emotionless mask. Rey watched as he seemingly ordered the troopers around, before stepping aside with Hux, assuming for a word. It wasn't any of her business really, and she could care less.

All she wanted was for him to dare come up to her, prepared to fight fire with fire when it came to him.

It wasn't all just her, of course. When it came to the pair, they continuously pushed and pushed one another to the point of nearly losing all sense of clarity. It was a sort of dance that only they'd mastered.

Kylo had revealed his weakness for the girl, the amount of mercy he had when it came to her was rather shocking, not only to her but himself as well. Kylo on the other hand was pleased to say the least, he'd managed to capture the girl rather easily.

Snoke would be pleased with him, which he found to be rather rewarding. Often, Kylo found himself jealous when Hux managed to gain the upper hand and please the Leader more, gaining more praise.

Sadly, he found himself tending to more important matters for a seemingly long period of time, finding that he'd much rather be interrogating the scavenger who'd bested him on many occasions.

It was unknown to him just how much stronger she'd become since they'd last seen one another, and he only hoped that he was stronger than her for once. The plans with having her on the base were unknown for the time being, and that was perfectly fine with him, it gave him plenty of time to figure the girl out before anything was decided.

It had him rather eager, he had her back in his sights and grasp yet again and had not one single intention of losing her again.

As he finished attending to matters, he stepped aside with Hux only momentarily.

"I won't be available for some time, see to it that I'm not bothered," Kylo informed, and warned. It would be his time with the scavenger girl, testing her, questioning her. If anyone were to even dare disturb that, he was almost positive they'd lose their heads.

Naturally, Rey had ran over to the door of what she considered her _cage_ , her _cell_ , and checked to see if she'd be able to escape. It was quite a ridiculous thing to even do, knowing quite well that Kylo wouldn't be so careless with her.

It only made her that much angrier, though, sure that she'd be ready to snap at him if he dared to show himself anytime soon.

"Shit," Rey cursed under her breath as she pounded her fist against the door, attempting to focus and perhaps breakthrough, yet to no avail.

To do such a thing, she knew she'd have to be in a focused, more peaceful state. It was something she couldn't exactly achieve with her current state, and it drove her mad.

Kylo had dismissed himself even after the General's scowl, not having the patience for his nonsense.

All focus was on the girl, the mere curiosity of her had full control over him.

When he'd finally approached the door, he had to stop himself from grinning as he listened to her beat at the door. Simply knowing he had her trapped pleased him, as sadistic as it seemed.

Just on the outside wall of her quarters, as on the inside, a pad with a keyboard was. A pin was needed to gain access to her quarters, as well as when it came to leaving.

As he pressed the buttons and his access was granted, the door slid open and she came through.

Rey was startled to say the least as the door slid open, having thought that she'd done something right.

Yet she was _so, so wrong_.

All she saw was herself falling towards the floor, but she never met it, colliding with what felt almost like a wall.

As her flailing hands reached for anything to save her from this, her hands suddenly grasped dark robes and she regained her balance, she looked up and was met with _his_ mask staring emotionlessly down at her.

Rey jolted away from him as if she'd touched a hot stove, and her eyes shifted to a glare, eyebrows furrowed as she quickly became irritated.

Kylo on the other hand, found himself to be quite pleased with the occurrence. He hadn't known what to expect, but it certainly wasn't something like _that_.

As he felt her small yet strong hands roaming his muscled chest, he'd nearly lost all sense of clarity or what he'd even came to her for.

" _You_ ," Rey spat, watching as the door automatically shut behind his towering form.

It was obvious that Rey wasn't pleased to see him, and he couldn't exactly blame her. Although she'd surrendered herself to him, traded herself in for the freedom of her friends, he knew that it'd been the last thing that she'd wanted to truly do.

It was something that he didn't understand, her willing to sacrifice herself for many.

Yet it was something that _he_ especially could understand, due to the past and how he felt for her. It was something he had yet to come to terms with, the weakness he felt when it came to her.

Although he didn't act like it, he had no intentions of ever letting any harm come to her.

"I take it you're not pleased to see me," Kylo stated, obviously. It was nearly sarcastic, a sneer. Of course she wasn't pleased to see him, considering the situation she currently found herself in.

All thanks to him, it was all because of _him_.

The girl glared at him, clearly infuriated, and he found himself in no mood to put up with her anger, much less her attitude. Yet it was rather hypocritical, a contradiction, considering how much pleasure he took in provoking her, interrogating her.

"Have you gone mad?" Rey scoffed, not picking up on his tone due to the mask and the way it hid his voice so well. The words he spoke whilst wearing it were so flat, so emotionless. There was no possible way to detect any sort of anything when he wore it, which frustrated her,

"Of course I'm not pleased to see you." Kylo, nearly amused, maneuvered his way around her and came to stand nearby the window. It was quite a view, one that he hoped she'd enjoy.

The girl had yet to find out that this was living quarters, not a cell, not a cell at all. Everyone else on the base had a small room that they could call home, it was rather sad.

Yet she had special treatment, all because of the fact that he saw to it. It was indeed unfair to everyone else, not that he'd care.

Rey turned to stare after him as he made his way into his quarters as if it were natural, nothing. It made her tense with her evident irritation, and she remained where she stood with her arms crossed.

"I know," He finally replied, turning to face her yet again, "You seem to be quite upset with me, which is understandable given the circumstances," Kylo approached her ever so slowly, stopping just a few feet away as to not get too close, "You'll get over it, you've no choice."

It was a rather blunt thing to say, and he knew it, yet it was the truth.

It was something that she too, realized. It wasn't a pleasant realization, coming to terms with the fact that she was stuck on wherever the _hell_ she was, with _Kylo Ren_.

"Do you know? Do you, _really_?" Rey questioned, her voice laced with the anger that she felt, resentment for him and the things that he'd done.

It was something she always tried to focus on, anything but the evident pull she had towards him.

It was something they were both in denial over, not wanting to face one another quite yet on the subject.

"You haunt me."

A _confession._

"You torment _me_ and those that I care for, and you feel nothing."

An _accusation._

"I despise you."

A _lie_.

Kylo's shoulders became tense as he listened to her speak. Was this true? The scavenger _despised_ him?

 _Impossible_.

It couldn't be, for he felt _everything_ that she felt.

After a pause, a moment of silence, Kylo approached her further.

Rey felt her breath hitch in her throat, and she stared defiantly up at the mask.

"You _despise_ me, hm?" A chuckle came through the voice modulator, and his gloved fingers trailed along the length of her arm.

"Now, I know for a fact that you're _lying_ to me," His accusation caused her to tense, his touch leaving a trail of heat, "But why try and lie to _yourself_?"

Eyes widened, Rey blinked and stared up at him, rather conflicted.

Was this even _real_? Was he being serious?

The audacity left her flustered.


End file.
